A blank page is the scariest thing

You can always erase or backspace but that first line is an investment of the soul's.






I think I finally felt the real world this week. I felt kind of alive and very scared at random times, but realized I am out of control, which is sort of a relief in some strange roundabout way. Or maybe it's just a cop out.
I think I waste so much time instead of actually focusing on what's in front of me, but who don't?
I need to learn to take meditative steps instead of running away and reflecting.
It would be nice to know if the feeling of regression was actually just proof of progression-
Cliche birthday bluessssssssssssss

Wake up tip # 1

Listen to Tigermilk when you are falling alseep reading homework on a rainy spring mid-morning and move when the whim strikes you. Nothing else works.


Cups of cereal help too.

Bittersweet

The past week has been a lot of different flavorz.
Bike's gone, but so is bronchitis.
Weekends gone but I finally get paid for makin' treats.



All my things look like someone else's memories

I M Chi Z

Couldn't be more glad

That I went to Tera Melos/Marnie Stern tonight instead of working on heaps of midterm papers. They RULED and so did the $6 toothpaste discount tee shirt. Guess I'll wake up early tomorrow.






Hopefully my water bottle won't taste too much like gin as usual.

I always remember the day of the Oscars

It's weird because I always want to watch all of the nominated films and I always try to finish my homework semi-early so I can veg out all Sunday night and watch them, but I never do. It's always on a night where the earth is beginning to thaw, and I often go for my first run of the season or at least lay outside on a dry piece of ground.



I've been tired and strangely, my life has been lacking caprice.

storyofstuff.org

I Start to Melt

In approximately a month, I've become more of that person I never thought I'd be, but I don't think it's bad..

Having a real hard time focusing, but maybe it's because of all the stimulation.

I have so much to be appreciative and finally feel that I'm taking advantage of the city, but it's easy to get lost. I'm relying pretty hard on the reassurance from everyone in my life that I'm real, but I guess I've always done that in a way.

So far, in short: Art Museum and Franklin Institute didn't let me down, Here We Go Magic was exceptional, weekend at Laundromat/Fuck Mountain was super-funs, Wavves was awesome but Best Coast blew, been eatin' good and applying at a billion veggie places all over da Philth of Delphia. O! And ran freals the other day and felt awesomely invisible in center city. Still happily sore.

Saw Dara Lovitz speak tonight at Grindcore.

I haven't really thought about vegan politicians or vegans involved with law. It's crazy that I forget we come in all shapes and sizes. Or, I guess it's not that I forget- I just don't know very many real live grown ups still siked on veganism let alone everything. I'm beginning to realize that people with my same outlook do turn out to be successful in not selling all the way out. While somewhat comforting and reassuring, I feel like by the time I grow up, which is probably going to be never, all of my daydreams would have already been lived by other people.

But for now I get to soak in bike rides on mild nights without really worrying about that too much.