Note the evil glowing eyes outside
Sunday, January 24, 2010
When I was little and still lived in New Jersey, we went to my next door neighbor's pool one summer. It was the first summer I was "big" or something; I can remember being excited for a pool party and maybe going down the big slide and it being really bright.
I forgot my swimmies when I walked in.
It was really loud and I felt like I was being sucked into a whirlpool, but for some reason, I wasn't scared.
I know my dad saved me after only a few seconds, but for some reason, I had no judgement of time whatsoever. And I didn't care.
I've been thinking about my almost-drown experience often lately. Once you learn how to swim, the magic is gone. The lungs exploding portion included, I think drowning is pretty beautiful.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
It's like the game that if you remember it, you lose.
Not caring is meditation all the time.
It's a bit rougher than a cut between the fingers. When you recall,
it not only rips open but restores you with false hope as soon as it reheals once more.
I need the hope supply blocked and cut off.
Degrading more every passing second like film, I need it to leave not come.
I printed my bat twice today.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I wish it was always dark in the mornings and I could see the orange glow peek from behind the black tree skeletons everyday.
Today, I rubbed Elmer's glue on my hands and peeled it off in my next class.
Tonight, I went out to my favorite restaurant with some great loving people.
All of those nice, warm, cozy times seem to fade real fast lately.
At the end of the night, I end up alone and I forget which way is up.
Then "morning" comes
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Dreamt of watching skiers on the moon's moon
Tension in my chest came back
there's no in between
You know when you wake up from a good dream and everything just seems so much worse
All of the colors only made everything in reality more dull
The soreness in my bones came back
The girlfriend on TV said "Everything's going to turn out okay"
"How do you know?"
Gotta get out of my bed